EstoniaxLatvia: Need You Now
by HitsuxHina1819
Summary: Latvia loves Estonia more than just a friend or a fellow nation. But, when he confesses, Estonia isn't clear on how he feels about the younger. So Latvia takes it as rejection. But, how does Estonia really feel?
1. Chapter 1: Estonia

**Need You Now: EstoniaxLatvia **

**Chapter 1: Estonia**

"I understand t-that you d-don't feel the same. I j-just wanted to t-tell you." That was the last thing he told me before he walked out of my house that night. And after that, his violet eyes refused to meet mine again for some time. That night seemed like any other night. I had been typing stuff for my blog on my laptop when the small Latvian had knocked on my door. We didn't see each other much, just at meetings or during those rare occasions when we found ourselves at Russia's house. We were independent countries, free from the Soviet Union and Russia, but we would sometimes go help him with things when he would ask us to. I never fully understood why we always agreed; we being Lithuania, Latvia and myself. I guess we had just all gotten used to catering to Russia's wants. But, that's beside the point at the moment. Right now, what's important is that cold, February night.

Latvia had knocked on my door until I finally brought myself to get up and answer it. When I opened the door, I found his violet eyes looking up at me as he stood there in the snow, wrapped up in his favorite winter jacket and the scarf that Finland had gotten him for Christmas. To be honest, he looked quite small and adorable as he rubbed his hands together in efforts to warm them. He didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"U-um… C-can I c-come in?" He finally stuttered. I stared at him for a bit before I eventually opened the door more so he could come in. I had been very confused on why the shaky nation was there at my house. I mean, yes, we would randomly go do something together out of boredom, but he rarely ever came to my house.

The smaller nation smiled a bit as he entered and plopped down on my couch, leaving snowy footprints in his wake. But I didn't seem to care for some odd reason. Normally I would've demanded that the mess be cleaned up immediately, but not that night. And apparently Latvia didn't care either. A happy sigh left the Latvian's lips while he relaxed into the corner of the couch.

"Ah… P-Paldies. It's so c-cold out there." Latvia told me as I slowly approached. I stopped by the end of the couch and looked at him curiously.

"Why are you here Latvia?" I hope I didn't sound harsh or anything. I was just curious. If it was harsh, then the smaller didn't show it. He shook a bit before smiling and turning towards the fireplace that was in front of him.

"Y-You mean he-here in Estonia? W-Well, I was with Lithuania… and I got lost on my way home. Before I k-knew it, it was late and I was here." He answered. For some reason, my fists had clenched a bit when he mentioned the other Baltic's name. Lithuania and Latvia would hang out randomly too just like Latvia and I would. It had never really bothered me but that night it did. It confused me but I had dismissed it as I watched Latvia reach his hands out so he could feel the heat from the fire on them.

"I see," was all I said in response, causing the shy Latvian to look at me with a worried glance.

"I h-hope I'm not in-intruding or anything." I shook my head as I fixed my glasses.

"No, you're fine. You can stay till you get warmed up." He smiled a joyful smile.

"Thank you." He let out a small giggle that had caused a warm sensation to shoot throughout my body without warning as I looked at the violet eyed boy who had directed his attention back to the fireplace. I had to advert my eyes and go back to my laptop in order to get rid of the blush that had appeared on my face.

A few silent minutes passed before I looked over at my other fellow Baltic and noticed him shivering. Not shaking, like he always was. No, he was shivering. He had his arms wrapped tightly around him as he tried to keep himself warm. I sighed before I went to grab a blanket from my room. When I came back, I placed it around him, startling him. I swear, he almost jumped out of his skin. You would think he would get used to being startled when he's dealt with Russia as long as we have. Meh. Anyway, his eyes darted to me as I went over to sit next to him on the couch.

"U-um…?" was all he managed to get out.

"To help you stop shivering." My response made his face glow a light pink before he turned his eyes to the floor.

"T-Thank you again….." I couldn't stop the edges of my mouth from moving into a small smile as I observed him. He noticed this and it made him blush more. Then Latvia had a semi-sad expression on his face as he slowly moved his violet eyes to my sapphire ones. "I'm st-still a bit c-cold though…" he added before he scooted closer to me. Next thing I knew, he was next to me, all but leaning on me. It shocked me. I was confused by his actions at the time, but I disregarded them. I had convinced myself that he really had been cold and that's why he had moved so close to me. But now I know that I was utterly wrong.

I hadn't noticed that I had rested my arm on the back of the couch, nearly around the smaller nation. Maybe if I had, I would've noticed earlier that Latvia seemed to inch closer so he could rest his head on my shoulder. My mind and eyes were set on the fire that burned in front of us at that time. I wasn't torn from my wandering thoughts until I heard my human name escape Latvia's lips.

"U-um, Eduard?" His whispered lightly. I looked over at him and I that's when I had noticed how close he had really been. It caused my face to feel warm a bit as I looked at his shy, yet nervous face. His blonde hair blocked his eyes until he finally looked up at me. He had seemed worried, and a bit scared.

"Yes? What is it?" I asked him. He rarely ever used my human name. When he did, it had usually meant that something serious had happened or was going to. That should've been my warning. But, my mind hadn't been thinking straight since the small nation had gotten to my house that night so I hadn't figured out what was to come. Latvia hesitated before answering me with a shaky tone.

"Estonia, h-how do you f-feel about me?" I gave him a confused look. His question came out of the blue. And I didn't fully understand what he meant at the time. So I said the first thing that popped into my mind.

"You're a shy boy, but a good friend." That's all my mind had come up with. Latvia's face fell a bit as he stared at the couch.

"I see… A f-friend…" He replied in a sad voice that bothered me. I turned my body so I would be able to see him better. The small blonde's fists were balled on his knees as he shook a bit. But then all of a sudden, he stopped. He quickly pulled his face up so I could see his serious face. It took me by surprise. But his sentence he had said next were what made me freeze.

"I love you though Eduard." I didn't know what to say. His words seemed to pierce my heart as I just stared at him. What was I supposed to say? It had all been so sudden. Before I could wrap my head around what had happened, Latvia got up and walked to the door, leaving my blanket on the couch. His eyes met mine as he turned. "I understand t-that you d-don't feel the same. I j-just wanted to t-tell you." And then he opened the door and left, leaving me there to stare at the door with different thoughts flying through my head.


	2. Chapter 2: Latvia

**Chapter 2: Latvia**

I shouldn't have just left Estonia's house like I did that night. But, I couldn't believe the words that had come out of my mouth. I never planned to tell him how I really felt about him. I had just… felt lonely that night. I wanted to be near someone. I needed someone.

I wasn't exactly lying when I said I had been hanging out with Lithuania earlier that evening, but I didn't get lost. I went to Estonia's house on purpose. Why? I didn't fully know. After I had bid the Lithuanian nation goodnight, a strong desire formed inside of me. A desire to see the blonde nation… Part of me longed to watch him push his glasses back of to his nose or to watch him fiddle around with his laptop. He always seemed so cute to me when he did those things. It was a bit embarrassing to me.

I knew that I had loved the older nation for a long time. I came to terms with it on that one evening back when we were still under Soviet control. Most of the time, Estonia was busy reading a book or helping Russia out like I was. We rarely ever got a free moment at the same time. But, there was one night where neither of us were doing anything. I had fallen asleep on the couch after both Lithuania and Russia had gone to bed. Estonia was preparing to get ready for bed but he had forgotten his book on the end table (which was next to the couch). So he came into the living room to fetch it. I, on the other hand, was having a nightmare. The same one I always had back in those days. The one where the darkness would drag me away from this world, forcing me to leave the ones I knew and cared about behind while it took me to a dark and depressing place filled with nothingness. I would always wake up nearly screaming on the nights I would have to experience it. That night was no exception. The only difference that night was that Estonia was there to see me spring awake, tears streaming from my violet eyes. His blue eyes were trained on my weeping form as he inched closer to me, finding himself on his knees next to the couch.

"Latvia? Are you okay?" he asked me. I wasn't able to answer at first. My sobs had prevented any words from exiting my lips. That caused the other to develop a confused and worried look on his face. "Raivis?" Once he said my human name, I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and grabbing him so I could cry into his shoulder. I had expected him to push me away, or to panic or look at me with disgust, but he never did. He had let me cry there, causing his uniform to become wet with my tears. He didn't say anything until after I had finally stopped sobbing.

"Are you okay? What happened?" His face had such a warm and concerned expression. It made my heart beat rapidly and my face feel very hot.

"I-I'm fine n-now. Th-thank you." I replied, trying to ignore the fact that he was so close to me. He fixed his glasses and nodded with a small smile.

"I'm glad. Did you have a nightmare?" Estonia asked as he got up and sat next to me on the couch. I only nodded. Estonia's smile was replaced by a worried expression. "I'm sorry. Do you think you'll be okay?" My still slightly watery eyes locked with his concerned ones. I had been mesmerized by them. The many shades of blue in his eyes were simply stunning. I could see my reflection in them as I continued to stare into them. I guess my staring had confused him more because he tilted his head to the side and looked at me quizzically. "Hm?" I had to shake my head to free myself from my trance.

"Y-yes. T-thank you a-again." My reply was blessed with a smile and a mild glint in the older nation's eyes.

"Good." He said before standing up and offering his hand out to me so I could stand. "You should really sleep in your bed. Less chance for nightmares to get to you." I couldn't resist the giddy feeling I got when I placed my hand in his and when he pulled me onto my feet.

After that night, I had that nightmare less and less, until I stopped having it altogether. Much to my embarrassment, they were replaced with joyful dreams about the intelligent blonde nation. From that day on, my heart longed for him. But, things happened, times changed. We became independent nations and we started to drift apart. I had almost given up on him and I ever being close friends, let alone lovers. But, then… the three of us Baltics began to try and spend time together. It was amazing.

I never did plan to actually tell him that I loved him though. I told myself to get over him. I mean, he had proclaimed himself to be straight to all of us. The effeminate nation of Poland had been joking about miniskirts and shopping and stuff when he asked Lithuania about his sexual orientation. We all knew the brown haired nation to be straight (he liked Belarus after all, much to the blonde Pole's dismay) but Estonia was a mystery. So Poland had questioned him. And with a furious blush, he said he liked girls. It kind of stung a bit. But, I guess I had suspected that to be his answer. When I was asked, I said I liked girls too. Even though that has never been true. No offence to the girls out there.

So that night… something seemed to possess me. I had always told myself to not let my feelings for the Estonian show. I always had to keep my heart in check. But, I couldn't that night. He was being so nice to me again. I couldn't deny the desire to scoot closer to him, close enough to feel his body heat. I cursed myself in my mind when I found myself placing my head against his shoulder. I didn't want to make him feel awkward. But, when he didn't really seem to care, it made me hopeful. That's when I muttered his human name and ended up asking how he felt about me.

"You're a shy boy, but a good friend." He answered after a bit. My heart had cracked at his response. To him, I was just a friend. Nothing more. That set me off.

"I see… A f-friend…" I muttered as I stared at the floor. I was shaking, more than usual. My fists tightened on my lap as he moved himself towards me. At some point, I had stopped shaking as I turned to look up at him.

"I love you though Eduard." The words just left my lips without my permission. And after I had said it, I instantly regretted it. I couldn't face his reaction so I got up and went to the door. I muttered something back before I opened the door and left.

Once I got to the sidewalk, I bolted. The warm tears started streaming down my face as I made my way back home.

"_How could I be so stupid? He'll never want to talk to me again now!"_ Those two lines kept repeating themselves in my mind. My heart felt heavy and my head burned. I just wanted time to be rewound so I could fix my mistake. But it was too late.

When I got home, I collapsed on my bed, not even bothering to remove my jacket or boots at the door. There, on top of my soft blankets, I let the tears leak out at full force. It was all too much for me to deal with. I hated myself. I hated my life. I hated all of it. I cried myself to sleep that night.

The next morning, I found it hard to pull myself out of bed. When I got to the bathroom, I stopped at the mirror and examined my eyes. They were awfully red and swollen, but I didn't really care. I needed a hot shower. After I was clean, I proceeded to the kitchen to make some breakfast. I grabbed some cereal and poured it into a bowl with some milk. Before I could sit down to enjoy it (or at least attempt to enjoy it), I heard something vibrate on the counter. I glanced over to see my small blue phone having a seizure next to the microwave. With a small sigh, I satured over to it and peaked at the screen to see who was calling me. The name I saw had surprised me.

It was Estonia. I held the phone in my palm as I swallowed hard. On a normal day, I would have immediately answered with a shaky yet glad hello, but not that day. I let the phone go off until it finally stopped. The screen glowed red and said that I had 10 missed calls. When I finally did open my phone, it showed me the calls I had missed. One had been from Russia while another had been from Sealand. All of the others (and the most recent ones) had been from the blonde Estonian. My chest tightened. I thought he had been calling me to yell at me and question me about my actions the night prior, and I knew I couldn't deal with that.

I set my cell phone down again and went back to my breakfast. I had a long day ahead of me.

* * *

So yes... here's the next chapter. I'm sorry Latvia! I love u lots! Hope you all enjoy. and please review!


	3. Chapter 3: Estonia

**Chapter 3: Estonia**

I slammed the phone shut. I had called Latvia at least five times and he hadn't answered. I was lying on my bed with a pillow over my face. He had to be mad at me. When he had confessed, I said nothing. _Not a single word. _But, what was I supposed to say? It was so sudden. And to be honest I had never thought about any romantic feelings I had for anyone, let alone the small Latvian. Did I like him too? I didn't know at the time. I just felt really bad for letting him leave like he did.

I looked over at the clock and noticed that it was a lot later than I had expected. I set my phone on the night stand and attempted to get some sleep.

When the sun seeped in through my open curtains, I shot up and grabbed my phone. I tried to call Latvia a few more times with the same amount of luck as the night prior. With I sigh I got up and showered. Many different thoughts bombarded my mind.

"_He… he said he loves me. Why? When… did that happen? What did I do to deserve his love? It's not like we get all that much time to spend together… But, the times we do get together are nice… and relaxing…" _I shook my head, splashing the hot water onto the walls. I had told myself that I was straight. I used to have a crush on Ukraine to be honest. But… that kind of faded awfully fast for some reason or another. Maybe because she wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. Not that she was sharp at all. No offense to her.

The water had gotten ice cold before I realized it. I quickly got out and clothed myself before I proceeded to the kitchen with my phone in my pocket. For some reason, I didn't really feel all that hungry, so I instead went to my laptop, eyeing the couch sadly as I made my way to it.

I had forgotten to turn off my laptop that night due to the craziness and panic. So my blog was still pulled up. I thought for a moment before I decided to post a small blog for the day.

"_**Estgeek18**_**'s Blog Post Today (10:45):**

**So today… I don't know. I'm really confused. I really don't know what to do. But I am so tempted to take a trip to somewhere random right now. And, what do you do when you are trying to call someone and they won't answer?"**

I hope Latvia didn't read that post. Who knows what he would think if he did. After a few moments I started to get responses.

"**Comments:**

_**Pinkpony16**_**: Like, omg! What's like, going on? Is everything totally okay? U could like, totally visit me and we could like, paint each other's nails… to the max!**

_**Estgeek18**_**: Um, thanks but no thanks Feliks**

_**Pinkpony16**_**: Like, why not? *pouty face***

_**AWESOMEHERO20**_**: YOU SHOULD JUST SHOW UP AT THE PERSON'S HOUSE! THAT'S WHAT I DO WHEN IGGY IGNORES MY CALLS!**

_**BritGent17**_**: -.- You bloody git, stop showing up at my house randomly. **

_**AWESOMEHERO20: **_**BUT WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN I WANT TO TALK YOU? **

_**BritGent17:**_ ***blush* um…**

_**Estgeek18:**_ **Could u 2 not talk about this on my blog?**

_**Sunflower33: **_**O? What seems to be the problem Eduard?**

_**Estgeek18: **_**Um.. *gulps* nothing really**

_**Sunflower33: **_**O, you don't have to hide it from me, da?**

_**AWESOMEHERO20: **_**STAY AWAY YOU COMMIE!**

_**Sunflower33: **_**But, I'm not a communist anymore Amerika.**

_**AWESOMEHERO20: **_**LIES!**

_**Estgeek18: **_***sweat drop***

_**SantaFin21: **_**Hey, what's going on?**

_**Estgeek18: **_**A lot I guess.**

_**SantaFin21: **_**Like… what?**

_**Estgeek18: **_**It's kind of hard to explain on here…**

_**SantaFin21: **_**Hm… okay, how about this: Why don't you come over to my house? We could talk about all this and relax. Does that sound good?**

_**Estgeek18:**_** … That sounds… nice. What time?**

_**SantaFin21:**_** Whenever you get here **

_**Estgeek18: **_**okay. I'll see you in a bit.**

_**SantaFin21: **_**I'll be waiting :D**

_**Pinkpony16: **_**Wait, you'll like, go to Tino's house but you totally won't come to mine! Like, what's up with that? That's totally not fabulous!**

_**Estgeek18: **_**Forgive me Feliks. But I don't need any girl time**

_**Pinkpony16: **_**Like, your loss**

I closed the blog screen and shut my laptop before I placed it in my bag. I believed a nice trip to Finland would help soothe my nerves. Finland had always been a good friend of mine so I did believe I would be okay talking to him about this issue. Plus he knew Latvia. So maybe he could shed some light on the situation.

I quickly packed up the rest of my stuff and headed to the airport. As I sat on the plane, I desperately tried to keep my mind off of the young purple eyed nation.

* * *

Late b-day gift for Estonia. I was supposed to type it on his b-day but i had wayyy tooo much homework. So i apologize. Enjoy tho. I had fun writing this chapter :D Please review and fave and if u have questions then please ask :)

Thank you all for your support! love u all!


End file.
